Two Old Men Eating Soup by Francisco de Goya

Saturn Devouring His Son by Francisco de Goya

Flowers in Midsommar and Annihilation

"Earth laughs in flowers, to see her boastful boys

Earth-proud, proud of the earth which is not theirs;

Who steer the plough, but cannot steer their feet

Clear of the grave." 

 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Florence Pugh as Dani in Midsommar (2019)

Tessa Thompson as Josie in Annihilation (2018)

Midsommar's Dani and Annihilation's Josie both succumb to the forces of nature in their respective films. Both characters journey into unknown territories: Dani travels to a reclusive tribe in Sweden; Josie investigates "the Shimmer," a mysterious zone at a meteorite crash site.

At the end of each of their journies, they are consumed and transformed. Dani is crowned as the May Queen and has to don a heavy, engulfing dress made of colorful flowers. Josie, due to the anomalous properties of the Shimmer, is transformed into a  flower person. 

Their transformations wouldn't be possible without their self-destruction first. By the point Dani is crowned as the May Queen, she has already imploded. She is suffering from the grief of the death of her family and the death of her relationship. Josie has witnessed the death of team members and is suicidal, indicated by the scars on her wrists. 

They are both able to be reborn through nature, specifically flowers. Although the floral dress is heavy at first, at the end of the film, Dani wears it gleefully, becoming a new member of the tribe. Her past is behind her, and she has gained a new family. As Josie becomes a flower person, she can live and thrive without her sorrow and suicidal thoughts burdening her. She can escape everything.

The flowers consume these characters, but they also heal them. 

Nature is beautiful. It is lush. It is colorful. It is magical. It is awe-inspiring. It is chaotic. Untamed. Indifferent. Life-giving. Life-taking. It is ever-evolving yet ever-unchanging. To take inspiration from the Emerson quote above, the same earth which gives vibrant flowers is the burial site for humanity. Everything begins and ends in the ground.

religious imagery in non-religious movies pt. 1 #Alive (2020)

 

#Alive was a decent and fun zombie movie but what really impressed me was the imagery. Especially the one above, which is actually one of my favorite scenes in a movie in the last few years.

Our protagonist covers his windows with paper as a way to safeguard against the zombies which surround his apartment. The result resembles stained glass representing the sanctuary and haven his apartment has become; much akin to a church.

A window of the Chartres Cathedral                           

Candyman and Hellraiser

Virginia Madsen as Helen in Candyman (1992)

Clare Higgins as Julia in Hellraiser (1987)

Here we have two dreamy, surreal movies which are both presented as horror films but at the core, they are both love stories.

Each romance is tragic: in Candyman, a black slave falls in love with a white woman and is brutally murdered as a result. He becomes an urban legend - a haunting figure coming back to torment anyone who dares to say his name. In Hellraiser, a woman does everything to bring back the man she loves - no matter what the cost. 

loves haunts us all

                                        

The immaculate Tony Todd as the titular Candyman 

Francesca Woodman "Polka Dots" (1975-76)

If I could use one word to describe my existence so far it would be "undone."

The world doesn't see me clearly. I don't see myself clearly.

I'm a dark smudge, indiscernible. 

i am made up of the shadows of other people

Francesca Woodman, Untitled (Self-portrait with chair), 1977-1978

the witch puts you in the corner

and you 

like the others

become a ghost 

stay v clarity

stay v clarity

"Stay" by The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber is a certified BANGER. And it is almost a perfect pop song. The verse leading up to the first chorus is just TOO short. Not surprising since it seems artists make shorter songs now to get more plays on streaming services. I also think this could be indicative of our instant gratification-obsessed culture. GIMME THE DROP AND CHORUS NOW, but there is no build-up of tension. The Kid drops a verse that is actually shorter than the chorus.

That's why Bieber's verse is legitimately perfect.  His voice lingering on the words "love" and "stay" invoke feelings of vulnerability and desperation. He is begging for another chance, and his pleading climaxes in the song's second chorus, except for this time, the hook is earned.

Listening to "Stay" reminds me of a banger from way back - "Clarity" by Zedd ft. Foxes. In a way, they are very similar. Two songs about a potentially doomed romance with EXPLOSIVE choruses. However, "Clarity" is an 11/10 pop song. Zedd's production, Foxes' on the verge of tears voice, the wordless chanting looming in the background, all of this culminates in a dramatic drop that's takes you back down to the bottom, almost as if the song is indicating the romance is as doomed as Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill. 

Henri Matisse - Open Window

 

Soul Mates

"I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence.” - 

Lang Leav

Victor Sparre - The Blue City

One day we will embrace under the stars. 

Fingías

I still remember listening to this song in a car with you......you said the lyrics were sad.

slow fade into a dream

Here is a very simple, small playlist full of wistfulness and yearning. 

REVIEW: "I Belong in Your Arms" by Charlift

There's a whole lotta different love songs out there, cataloging the different stages of love and the feelings that accompany them.

"I Belong in Your Arms" by Charlift definitely encapsulates those early stages when you realize (or maybe not) that you're falling in love.

It's buoyant, floating in midair, with moments of brightness, but it's also a little out of control. That frenetic energy mirrors perfectly that feeling of helplessly falling for someone. 

The random lyrics and imagery invoke that feeling of being so infatuated, that your brain malfunctions, that you become tonguetied, because you're too dazzled. The only thing you can think, say, and want concretely is, "I belong in your arms."

I used to write about music when I was younger - like around 10 years ago. Something about those teenage years makes you do that I guess.

And then in my early 20s, I was posting legit sad girl music with fucking SOUNDCLOUD links, like, what the hell past me? Did you not have Spotify?

Well, I have Spotify now. And I think I want to start writing about music again because I don't know.

I have been numb for a long time. And I'm starting to feel again.

REVIEW: Hereditary (2018)

 Wrote this in 2018 lol

Hereditary is a masterfully crated, yet deeply unsettling directorial debut from Ari Aster.

The film presents itself as a taught, psychological family drama in the beginning – we open to the funeral of a family’s matriarch. Yet, the family does not mourn their grandmother, nor do they celebrate her life. Her daughter delivers a brief, cold, and distant eulogy and that is the most grief anyone in the family shows. There are no tears. Her granddaughter nonchalantly munches on a candy bar at the funeral. The grandson when asked by his father if he misses his grandmother, smiles smugly. The family expresses their grandmother’s death with as much emotion as a person would if they had suddenly realized they left their keys at home or if they had to take another route home from work due to traffic.

It becomes apparent that the grandmother’s death is but a minor inconvenience. It also becomes apparent that something isn’t quite right with the family, yet no major reasons can be pinpointed. There is a sense of uneasiness elicited in the viewer and that feeling only grows throughout the film.

Two prominent psychological themes are woven throughout the film. The first being the deterioration of the familial structure due to the inability to cope with loss and grief. The second being the deterioration of one’s self due to mental illness. Both themes are brilliantly played off each other, creating a feeling of suffocation and dread as you watch the characters completely collapse in on themselves.

Yet there is a darker undercurrent to the film. It plays with our fear of the unknown. With our fear of the shadows and specters and figures which may lay within them. With the Eldritch horrors awaiting us in the night.

This film was amazing. But it was completely unenjoyable to watch. It was too real, too visceral, and completely oppressive in the atmosphere. I can’t recommend this film to anyone unless you want to take a long, hard look into the void and if you decide to do so, the void will look back.

For Jane

By Charles Bukowski

225 days under grass 
and you know more than I. 
they have long taken your blood, 
you are a dry stick in a basket. 
is this how it works? 
in this room 
the hours of love 
still make shadows. 

when you left 
you took almost 
everything. 
I kneel in the nights 
before tigers 
that will not let me be. 

what you were 
will not happen again. 
the tigers have found me 
and I do not care.

A Girl

By Ezra Pound 

The tree has entered my hands, 
The sap has ascended my arms, 
The tree has grown in my breast - 
Downward, 
The branches grow out of me, like arms. 

Tree you are, 
Moss you are, 
You are violets with wind above them. 
A child - so high - you are, 
And all this is folly to the world. 

music pt. 2

(w)atashi mo.