im a poisoned tree

u make me not wanna die

plastic love

this one is for you, Kevin, i hope you're up there, among the stars

music is the only language im fluent in

different this time

perverted

crimson and clover

Burn the Witch pt 1: Mandy (2018) TW: mentions of sexual abuse and death

 

Andrea Riseborough as the eponymous Mandy

Sometimes, I think existing as a woman is a death wish. I have faced sexual harassment starting from the age of 4. As a young girl and teenager, I had to endure it silently, in fear of retaliation if I defended myself. Around my early 20s, I grew tired of it all. I started to push back. I told men to fuck themselves. I gave them dirty looks and gave them the middle finger in response to their catcalls or pickup lines. Most men just called me a bitch, whore, whatever but some men took it further. They did not handle the rejection well. I've been followed, threatened with violence. I have been groped. I have been raped.

Isn't it sad that I'm relieved? 

Because at least they didn't kill me.

And that is the fate that befalls Mandy. She is walking home one day when she catches the attention of a cult leader as he is driving by in his van. He becomes immediately smitten and kidnaps her, believing she is the one, that she will complete him. She is his dream girl.

He plays her his folk music and dances naked in front of her as a means of seduction.

And she laughs.

And laughs.

She rejects him thoroughly. The dream girl becomes a mocking nightmare.

So he burns her. Literally. He kills her in one of the most horrific ways possible. All to soothe a bruised ego.

Because what are women to men, but witches that need to be burned?

sad girl music is universal

universal and forever

i know the end - phoebe bridgers

bad things - the cults

bad things happen to the people you love

it's me

im the bad thing

lilith

 

The Sin, 1893 by Franz Stuck

Stockholm at Twilight, by Artur Bianchini

 

poison comes in many forms - The Power of the Dog

 

I just finished watching Jane Campion's The Power of the Dog last night and it unsettled me to such an extent that it actually kept me up way past my bedtime - such was its strength. 

I initially wanted to write about wrath and the many forms it is represented in the film but then I realized that wrath is just another form of poison.

Phil Burbank is a man poisoned by his own self-hatred and self-isolation, due to his own homosexuality that he attempts to hide under a super machismo persona. He has become a bitter and abusive man. He takes out his self-hatred on all those around him, especially his beloved brother, and then later, his brother's newlywed wife, a widow named Rose, and Rose's son, Peter. 

When Rose and Peter move into the ranch where Phil and his brother reside, Phil's presence becomes a dangerous miasma to Rose - his toxic energy surrounds her.  She can feel his hatred and loathing even when he is not in the same room. When they are in the same room, the effects are debilitating to the wife - he mocks and belittles her, slowly tearing her down from a strong, independent mother to a shade of her former self. Rose copes with Phil's metaphorical poison with a literal one - she turns to alcohol to numb herself from Phil's attacks.

Seeing his mother deteriorate before his eyes, Peter decides to eliminate the problem that is causing her downfall - Phil.

However, despite being a western, Peter and Phil don't have a gunslinging shootout to resolve their problems. Phil is just as hostile to Peter as he is to Peter's mother - he mocks Peter for his effeminate manner and perceived weakness. His own repressed sexuality poisons his impression of Peter from the beginning. However, an unlikely friendship forms between the two, initiated by Peter. Phil attempts to make Peter a "man," and to not be made a "sissy" by Rose. He eventually becomes fond of Peter, even making him a rope. It is this rope that becomes Phil's downfall.

Unbeknownst to Phil, Peter intentionally supplied him with an anthrax-ridden hide to complete the rope. Phil's handling of the rope soon leads to him becoming ill and dying shortly thereafter. Peter poisons Phil in retaliation for Phil's abuse of Peter's mother. However, even before Peter handed Phil the diseased hide, Peter had slowly poisoned Phil with a promise of friendship. Peter lulled Phil into a sense of vulnerability, pretending to understand him and pretending to want to emulate him. The self-isolated Phil latched on to Peter, in a guise to fill the loneliness in his life, not knowing that Peter was plotting to kill him. 

Poison is ever-present in this film, in tangible and intangible forms. And as evidenced by Peter, the invisible poisons are the ones that can be the most harmful.

Light and Shadows, 1902 by Tyra Kleen

 

The true monster is always waiting in the darkness of the shadows.

prisons of our making - In the Mood for Love and Double Indemnity

Maggie Cheung as Su Li-zhen

Tony Leung as Chow Mo-wan

Fred MacMurray as Walter Neff

In the Mood for Love (2000) and Double Indemnity (1944) are two vastly different movies from different periods and cultures, with different stories and presentations but some things are just universal. For example, both films use shade and light to show the internal processes and emotions of our characters.

Maggie Cheung and Toney Leung play two would-be lovers, but they cannot act on their desires or love for each other due to the both of them being already married. Their love is not only unconsummated but it is also unspoken. They are bound and imprisoned by external circumstances to keep their love for each other contained and repressed as so beautifully illustrated in the above scene from the movie, where the shadows create an illusion of the two characters being trapped in a cage.

Walter Neff's story is not as romantic but just as tragic. Before he is wrapped up in the schemes of the  Phyllis, we see him bathed in the shadows cast by the windows. His suit is marked with stripes, mimicking a prison jumpsuit. This is a foreshadowing of his eventual spiral and downfall, from an innocent insurance agent to a murderer and most likely, to a be hauled off to a prison, a prison of his own making.

The Broken Column, 1944 by Frida Kahlo

Homage - Vince Staples

religious imagery in non religious movies pt 2. Exotica

Exotica (1994) takes its title from the main location of the film, Exotica, an upscale strip club somewhere in Canada.

Unlike many strip clubs, in film or reality, Exotica is not a seedy or lurid place, it is opulent and luscious. It is an Eden-like garden, filled with beautiful women and dreamy promises. But like many things in this film, it is an easily shattered illusion, because just as easy it is to find paradise, it is even easier to lose it.