goodbye happiness

沸点36℃ by eastern youth

theme: hardcore barbie

theme: damn i just want an apology

theme: noisy dreams

theme: jaded hot girls find god and/or the devil

theme: a cynical burnout falls in love

Burn Out by Johnny Goth

Alone by Jack Gilbert

I never thought Michiko would come back

after she died. But if she did, I knew

it would be as a lady in a long white dress.

It is strange that she has returned

as somebody's dalmatian. I meet

the man walking her on a leash

almost every week. He says good morning

and I stoop down to calm her. He said

once that she was never like that with

other people. Sometimes she is tethered

on their lawn when I go by. If nobody

is around, I sit on the grass. When she

finally quiets, she puts her head in my lap

and we watch each other's eyes as I whisper

in her soft ears. She cares nothing about

the mystery. She likes it best when

I touch her head and tell her small

things about my days and our friends.

That makes her happy the way it always did.

"untitled", 2014 - Nicola Samori

Women Laughing by Francisco de Goya

Two Old Men Eating Soup by Francisco de Goya

Saturn Devouring His Son by Francisco de Goya

Flowers in Midsommar and Annihilation

"Earth laughs in flowers, to see her boastful boys

Earth-proud, proud of the earth which is not theirs;

Who steer the plough, but cannot steer their feet

Clear of the grave." 

 

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Florence Pugh as Dani in Midsommar (2019)

Tessa Thompson as Josie in Annihilation (2018)

Midsommar's Dani and Annihilation's Josie both succumb to the forces of nature in their respective films. Both characters journey into unknown territories: Dani travels to a reclusive tribe in Sweden; Josie investigates "the Shimmer," a mysterious zone at a meteorite crash site.

At the end of each of their journies, they are consumed and transformed. Dani is crowned as the May Queen and has to don a heavy, engulfing dress made of colorful flowers. Josie, due to the anomalous properties of the Shimmer, is transformed into a  flower person. 

Their transformations wouldn't be possible without their self-destruction first. By the point Dani is crowned as the May Queen, she has already imploded. She is suffering from the grief of the death of her family and the death of her relationship. Josie has witnessed the death of team members and is suicidal, indicated by the scars on her wrists. 

They are both able to be reborn through nature, specifically flowers. Although the floral dress is heavy at first, at the end of the film, Dani wears it gleefully, becoming a new member of the tribe. Her past is behind her, and she has gained a new family. As Josie becomes a flower person, she can live and thrive without her sorrow and suicidal thoughts burdening her. She can escape everything.

The flowers consume these characters, but they also heal them. 

Nature is beautiful. It is lush. It is colorful. It is magical. It is awe-inspiring. It is chaotic. Untamed. Indifferent. Life-giving. Life-taking. It is ever-evolving yet ever-unchanging. To take inspiration from the Emerson quote above, the same earth which gives vibrant flowers is the burial site for humanity. Everything begins and ends in the ground.

religious imagery in non-religious movies pt. 1 #Alive (2020)

 

#Alive was a decent and fun zombie movie but what really impressed me was the imagery. Especially the one above, which is actually one of my favorite scenes in a movie in the last few years.

Our protagonist covers his windows with paper as a way to safeguard against the zombies which surround his apartment. The result resembles stained glass representing the sanctuary and haven his apartment has become; much akin to a church.

A window of the Chartres Cathedral                           

Candyman and Hellraiser

Virginia Madsen as Helen in Candyman (1992)

Clare Higgins as Julia in Hellraiser (1987)

Here we have two dreamy, surreal movies which are both presented as horror films but at the core, they are both love stories.

Each romance is tragic: in Candyman, a black slave falls in love with a white woman and is brutally murdered as a result. He becomes an urban legend - a haunting figure coming back to torment anyone who dares to say his name. In Hellraiser, a woman does everything to bring back the man she loves - no matter what the cost. 

loves haunts us all

                                        

The immaculate Tony Todd as the titular Candyman 

Francesca Woodman "Polka Dots" (1975-76)

If I could use one word to describe my existence so far it would be "undone."

The world doesn't see me clearly. I don't see myself clearly.

I'm a dark smudge, indiscernible. 

i am made up of the shadows of other people

Francesca Woodman, Untitled (Self-portrait with chair), 1977-1978

the witch puts you in the corner

and you 

like the others

become a ghost 

stay v clarity

stay v clarity

"Stay" by The Kid LAROI and Justin Bieber is a certified BANGER. And it is almost a perfect pop song. The verse leading up to the first chorus is just TOO short. Not surprising since it seems artists make shorter songs now to get more plays on streaming services. I also think this could be indicative of our instant gratification-obsessed culture. GIMME THE DROP AND CHORUS NOW, but there is no build-up of tension. The Kid drops a verse that is actually shorter than the chorus.

That's why Bieber's verse is legitimately perfect.  His voice lingering on the words "love" and "stay" invoke feelings of vulnerability and desperation. He is begging for another chance, and his pleading climaxes in the song's second chorus, except for this time, the hook is earned.

Listening to "Stay" reminds me of a banger from way back - "Clarity" by Zedd ft. Foxes. In a way, they are very similar. Two songs about a potentially doomed romance with EXPLOSIVE choruses. However, "Clarity" is an 11/10 pop song. Zedd's production, Foxes' on the verge of tears voice, the wordless chanting looming in the background, all of this culminates in a dramatic drop that's takes you back down to the bottom, almost as if the song is indicating the romance is as doomed as Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill. 

Henri Matisse - Open Window